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We can tell when your message is copied and pasted to multiple people.Sure, it’s a pain to actually read through profiles and send unique messages to each person, but aren’t you here to find a date?I don't usually start off a post with the impact points right at the beginning.But I want to lay these out first -- because they're so vital to solid message writing -- and we'll get into the "whys" and the "hows" in a moment.I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.This topic came up as I got to an email from a reader. And what I found was that I was often disappointed -- I'd put all this time and effort into a monster of a message, and then... There are a bunch of lessons I eventually took away from those experiences that I'll share with you today.I’ve been documenting OKCupid atrocities for a while now, and a lot of themes crop up in the terrible messages that daters send me for, um, critiquing.This is how to send a semi-decent online dating message in nine easy steps.

The words (if you can call them that) are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message.

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone.

So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating.

A very well-spoken and clearly an educated guy, he sent me a message detailing a situation with a girl he knew... The basic gist of today's post is, basically, that this -- what we're about to talk about -- is how you write online dating messages and emails that don't get ignored...

and, in fact, get you exactly what you want: responses, phone numbers, dates, and success.

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